A window

I'm so excited to see that Nate has posted! Also, it's great to see other people have marked their locations on the map. No comments yet though. We'd like to hear about your experience, especially if you are a young adult with high functioning autism/ PDD-NOS, or a family member.

I think it took a long time for anyone in our family to realize that Nate had something more. We didn't realize he wasn't just being a quiet, easy going kid with a very contagious laugh. When you live with him every day and grow up with him, you don't see it. It was junior high, I think, when Nate was first tested.

I am still in denial. I always feel like Nate teeters right on the edge of being just like the rest of us, and if he would just make the leap or if the conditions are just right, he will. The reality is that I am imposing the expectations of a majority, non-autistic society. Nate's experience, and his life, will be unique. What becomes clear to me is that I don't understand his experience. I don't really know what it is like- his perspective, thoughts, feelings and experiences. Often, his facial expression and body language does not convey all that is going on inside.

Maybe this blog will be like a window for Nate and his family.

What is high functioning autism?

I googled "high functioning autism" and looked at the first 20 or so web pages and articles. They were TERRIBLE. They leave no clear sense of what it is, what it means, what it looks like, and do not acknowledge the fact that the individual falling under the high functioning autism/PDD-NOS spectrum is a human being. If I had an autism diagnosis and I googled it to find out more, I can't imagine how I would feel right now after reading those pages.

Nate is very sensitive, sweet, funny and earnest. He is passionate about his interests: playing guitar, writing songs, playing video games, and watching TV shows. He has his driver's license. He talks and laughs and connects with others by playing games. He has worked a variety of jobs in the last four years and none have lasted in this fast-paced, convoluted, impatient world.

He is too "high functioning" for disability checks or other means of support. The bare minimum case management he receives at a local agency continues to peter out, one after another. He falls through the cracks. He lives with his parents. He dreams of having his own apartment. We imagine the ideal would be an apartment with a kind, trustworthy roommate who looks out for him when he needs it. We imagine the ideal would be other young adults with similar interests and needs calling him up to see a movie or come over to play games.

We've imagined it a long time. The years go by.