Great questions!

1) What would you do if ghosts really exist and you saw one darting from one side of the hall to another?

Yikes! Possibly I would scream, then I would go find the nearest living person in the house as soon as possible!

2) In the show family Guy did Brian past the test when he went back to college?
What state did they sing about in a later show?

Haha! I can't remember whether Brian passed the test.. I know he and Stewie sing a song about being on the road to Rhode Island!

3) When was the last time you played the game where you guess the cars colors?

Last year!

4) What if you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, how would you survive?

I would use sticks to make fire. I would snack on grubs and try to catch rabbits so that I can roast them.

5) Looking in the past, can you pick the most fun you had with your youngest bro?

The times you came up to our house were fun. When we were little, there was always "Electric Babies" and picking you up and swinging you around like a sack of potatoes.

6) There is a fork in the road, one way gives you longer life but misfortune, the other gives you shorter life but luck is on your side. Which way will you go?

Ooh, good question. I wonder HOW much shorter my life would be? If I only lived to be 40, I would pick the longer life. But if I lived to be 65, I would pick the shorter life.

Sister Questions

Questions for you Sarah

1) What would you do if ghosts really exist and you saw one darting from one side of the hall to another?

2) In the show family Guy did Brian past the test when he went back to college?
What state did they sing about in a later show?

3) When was the last time you played the game where you guess the cars colors?

4) What if you were stuck between a rock and a hard place, how would you survive?

5) Looking in the past, can you pick the most fun you had with your youngest bro?

6) There is a fork in the road, one way gives you longer life but misfortune, the other gives
you shorter life but luck is on your side. Which way will you go?

Strumming Loudly

One of the things I like to do is to play my electric guitar. I have written over 15 songs with lyrics. When I’m nervous it claims me down before the storm. I’m really at peace when I play but I can’t seem to write an acceptable new song. Writers block but I won’t give up and I will play something different of mine. The songs I write are about love, violence and the other side. I like to put in a great message in some of them. My old guitar which is a classical that never gets played anymore, just a decoration in this room (computer room/guest room). The guitar before that is hanging up in the same room, it’s the same kind. Strumming my guitar is a nice feeling of unlimited joy that will never end, I hope or until I get old.

It all started when I showed an interest in piano, having one as a child, I would write songs. Most of them I have forgotten but two still strives on. Now I have a keyboard and no longer have the piano. One day in the past, I don’t remember it really well but it was in school (Delaware Academy, Delhi) during a special event. All I know is that I strummed one classical guitar that started me down the guitar jamming path. The first day I owned my electric guitar I could never forget the feeling that came over me. “I was born to rock, lets rock together.”

Anime Spirit

Cartoons from over seas on the cartoon network and copied onto DVD’s and VHS. The determination of the heroes or hero is not giving up and doing whatever it takes to defect a more powerful enemy. Every one can take that into there everyday lives especially the Autism range. The enemy for us is the outside world and interacting with it. The world is more powerful but we can find a way to interact with it. We can break away from what’s confinable and become independent; it’s up to us to find a way to do that. Life is all about completing one challenge after another. Make sure your confident enough to stay calm and deflect whatever life throws at you. If you want visit this web page www.Dragonballgt.com. Go to shows to see other Anime programs done by funimation. I’ve seen some of them but the Dragon ball series is my favorite. There are some things I don’t get about the show like talking animals that stand upright but the action makes up for it. Its okay, have Anime Spirit just don’t fight anyone. You don’t have powers, play the video games. Do I really have to go on with this?

Delhi (The Beginning)

The era is the 90’s, the era where two major fears didn’t exist yet.

I had friends but only few in numbers and kids my own age at church. We didn’t get together at all. My friends would play guns outside and ride bikes. We would also play video games. I was introduced to Armor Core, a video game, Anime Dragon Ball Z and penny candy(Not chocolate coins but candy costing a penny) I was fooled but it ended up okay, the candy was good. During that time when I was in groups I would sneak off alone and the common think to be said where Nate? There was a time where I didn’t know I had this, only the bipolar systems. I would only talk about myself before learning to ask a question or two. Sometimes I wonder if not knowing would be better but how would I learn to communicate in top form. The trip to the place where I found out that I have High Functioning Autism and I thought I was there to deal with my deep depression I was having. After nine years the time has come to move, we said our farewells and Woodstock came are new home in 2000. In the school I did talk two people that could be friends but graduation killed that spark. I even joined a group for people like me. I went over to this girl’s house from the group but that ended. I had another kid from the group come over but that ended as well. I have been alone for a long time since around 2003 when school came to a close. I had my parents and family but come on. I meet this guy who is connected with the women who started the group and he was on hard for me to lose weight, buff up and practice my bamboo sword training. Mastering the sword training he had me in one of his videos he was making. Losing 20 pounds and getting stronger, it wasn’t easy and this guy lectured me the whole hour. The neat thing was he is on the range of High Functioning Autism. This information had to sink in a little bit. Another chapter has closed and now I am in Middletown, alone and still walking off alone but I’m trying to stick with it. I talked with great people, short but better then nothinge group but that ended. rateion killed that spark. for people like me. k

The chicken nugget story

I was cooking small pieces of chicken in a frying pan tonight and suddenly had a memory. My mom used to make chicken nuggets. One summer weekend, when Nate was four or five, we had a large number of extended family over. Several aunts, uncles and cousins were seated around the dining room table. We had chicken nuggets.

Nate was a very easy going kid with a contagious laugh. He didn't call much attention to himself and went with whatever his older siblings were doing. That night, however, Nate suddenly made an announcement, a way of saying "hey I'm here, look at me." Instead of eating his chicken nuggets, he started putting them on his head.

Cousins were laughing hysterically. Nate, clearly enjoying himself, put more chicken nuggets on his head. Now the adults were laughing. Mom was trying to get the grease out of his hair. Nate was grinning at his own spark of spontaneity.

A good memory, made me smile (:

Epilepsy

A couple of years a go I heard “Bring me to Life” on the radio by Evanescence and was introduced to a great singer Amy Lee and a great band. I really liked this song and I had to get “Fallen” (albums name). I remember listing to it down on vacation in Virginia Beach. “The Open Door” is the name of there new album, coming out two years ago, never getting the live album “Anywhere but Home”. The Open Door is another great album and I believe Amy lee wrote all the songs by her self this time. Checking the webpage www.evanescence.com I notice something I wanted to check out.

Epilepsy is her Foundation found under Community on the webpage. Reading all of Understanding Epilepsy I now know what it is. “Effecting about 2.7 million people have it and nearly 181,000 are diagnosed every year”. I gave you pretty much the line from the Understanding Epilepsy page; visit the webpage to learn more. There is two links one at the bottom where it says this webpage is presenting by and at the end of the Understanding Epilepsy article. Out of the shadows is the name of it because people don’t know what it is, maybe this will help.

Dream A Little

I wonder what it would be like if all the young adults suffering from some aspect of the Autism Syndrome would connect with each other. Maybe create a community where they could be together......with independent jobs, maybe, and a room of their own, but a community space, too, where they could play video games and listen to music and watch favorite t.v. shows. Maybe a counselor on hand who could gently guide them if life got complicated and if they needed some help to cope. Dream with me.......there are millions of you out there. Feeling frustrated and alone, helpless to make life the way you want it because there is nothing out there for you. Wanting to leave home and break away from your parents but not really feeling able to do that - financially, emotionally. LET'S UNITE!!!! LET'S CONNECT! LET'S TALK!!!!!!

Answers

1) Funny, nice, charming, musician, sensitive

2) I imagine five years from now that I will have a wife or a girlfriend and a likeable job

3) The battle of the ages, It will be a close fight with blood and some deep wounds. The setting will be a pirate ship because the ninja lost the rock paper scissors. It was done quickly and it was not a friendly game. I say the Ninja wins because the pirate wouldn’t know what a Chinese star is. He’ll be like “what is these, arrrr you kidding me?” The pirate loses and sinks down in the ocean.

4) I have to say my favorite show is Smallville because of the action and the deep drama. I’m also a Superman fan, I have the recent movie.

5) This was pretty tough but I came up with an answer. My favorite song is “Give In To me” by Michael Jackson off of “Dangerous”

6) I want them to understand about me and people like me are that we need friendships and relationships just like anyone else. We just have trouble getting it for ourselves but we’re just like everyone.

Questions for Nate

1) What are five words you would use to describe yourself?

2) What do you imagine your life being like in five years?

3) If a ninja and a pirate got into a fight, who would win?

4) What's your favorite tv show and why?

5) What's your favorite song and why?

6) What's the first thing you would want people to understand or know about HFA?

Not a weakness

Nate, your entries warm my heart. I want to say that I don't believe H.F.A is a weakness. Our biggest challenge in life makes us who we are. Each day that we face it, we become stronger. Everyone has something, no matter what. Your something is high functioning Autism.

I marvel at how our somethings- your H.F.A and my hearing loss- though very different things, often have a very similar outcome. We both get left out often and we both wish we connected with people more and made friends more easily.

Diagnoses and labels are a curious thing. Seems to be something that has evolved in our society to categorize everyone who doesn't fit in the way they are 'supposed' to. Would Nate have become isolated and fallen through the cracks two hundred years ago? I seriously doubt it. He'd probably be working on a farm or in a small rural town where the community looks out for him, supports him, and see him as an endearing and unique person.

Nate, I am so happy to see you writing. Three posts already. I started to worry last night after your first post that maybe you wouldn't be able to post again. I worried that it might become something that you focused on so much, trying to write it just the way you wanted to, that you wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I don't want it to be something that keeps you up at night.

I think one of the hardest traits of H.F.A is the perseverating that creates an intense cycle of anxiety and worry. Often people with H.F.A will stress over experiences and things people said or did that may not even register with someone without H.F.A. My hope is that this blog is always something comfortable and interesting for Nate. If it is otherwise, I hope he'll write about that too.

Just a Weakness

When the day is all done and you’re lying in your bed. You’re thinking about why am I like this? Day to day you avoid people, saying you don’t need them until your crying inside. The uncertainly of who you are but you’re not alone. High Functioning Autism creeps up on more and more people. There is hope in the air and it's not snow flakes but that does make me happy. You will make friends if you learn how to communicate and look into peoples eyes. Everyone has a weakness and H.F.A is just one of them. Weaknesses can be overcome so dust of the dust. You can start lifting weights and exercises and you will feel good about yourself. Go out there and be great and make friends.

A window

I'm so excited to see that Nate has posted! Also, it's great to see other people have marked their locations on the map. No comments yet though. We'd like to hear about your experience, especially if you are a young adult with high functioning autism/ PDD-NOS, or a family member.

I think it took a long time for anyone in our family to realize that Nate had something more. We didn't realize he wasn't just being a quiet, easy going kid with a very contagious laugh. When you live with him every day and grow up with him, you don't see it. It was junior high, I think, when Nate was first tested.

I am still in denial. I always feel like Nate teeters right on the edge of being just like the rest of us, and if he would just make the leap or if the conditions are just right, he will. The reality is that I am imposing the expectations of a majority, non-autistic society. Nate's experience, and his life, will be unique. What becomes clear to me is that I don't understand his experience. I don't really know what it is like- his perspective, thoughts, feelings and experiences. Often, his facial expression and body language does not convey all that is going on inside.

Maybe this blog will be like a window for Nate and his family.

What is high functioning autism?

I googled "high functioning autism" and looked at the first 20 or so web pages and articles. They were TERRIBLE. They leave no clear sense of what it is, what it means, what it looks like, and do not acknowledge the fact that the individual falling under the high functioning autism/PDD-NOS spectrum is a human being. If I had an autism diagnosis and I googled it to find out more, I can't imagine how I would feel right now after reading those pages.

Nate is very sensitive, sweet, funny and earnest. He is passionate about his interests: playing guitar, writing songs, playing video games, and watching TV shows. He has his driver's license. He talks and laughs and connects with others by playing games. He has worked a variety of jobs in the last four years and none have lasted in this fast-paced, convoluted, impatient world.

He is too "high functioning" for disability checks or other means of support. The bare minimum case management he receives at a local agency continues to peter out, one after another. He falls through the cracks. He lives with his parents. He dreams of having his own apartment. We imagine the ideal would be an apartment with a kind, trustworthy roommate who looks out for him when he needs it. We imagine the ideal would be other young adults with similar interests and needs calling him up to see a movie or come over to play games.

We've imagined it a long time. The years go by.

An Idea

I have discovered that blogging can be an invaluable way to create communities and to make connections regardless of distance and location. Today inspiration struck that perhaps one can be created for young adults with high functioning autism, like my brother Nate. Maybe this blog, and others like it, can become a tool to help create friendships, daily living and job support, and ultimately lead to a fulfilling degree of independence and accomplishment.

I firmly believe you are out there, isolated in Mom and Dad's house. You are out there, all over the country. Perhaps you have had a lifetime of isolation and you have been painfully aware of every minute of it. You want friendships and relationships. But it has not happened. It should not be this way. This can change.

I hope for my Mom to write and share her experiences. I hope for Nate to write and share his experiences. I hope for you to comment on our entries. With each comment we receive, we will post it in a new entry and create a forum of communication.